Congratulations on your new arrival! Welcoming a new baby is a joyous occasion, but it can also stir up feelings of jealousy in your older child, especially during the newborn to infant age. This is perfectly normal – after all, they’ve gone from being the center of your attention to having to share you with someone new. To help navigate this period and foster a positive relationship between your siblings, here are some Do’s and Don’ts to keep in mind:
Do:
- Prepare your older child: In the months leading up to the baby’s arrival, talk to your older child about the new addition in a way they can understand. Read books about siblings, involve them in picking out baby items, and let them help with age-appropriate tasks like folding baby clothes.
- Maintain one-on-one time: It’s easy to get swept up in caring for the infant, but prioritize spending quality time with your older child. This could be anything from reading a story together to playing a quick game.
- Celebrate individuality: Acknowledge that your children are unique individuals. Avoid comparisons and praise them for their own strengths and accomplishments.
- Embrace positive interactions: When your children play nicely together, shower them with praise and positive attention. This reinforces the desired behavior and makes them want to repeat it.
- Create a safe space for exploration: As your infant approaches the crawling age (typically between 6-10 months), provide them with a safe play area filled with age-appropriate toys. This will not only encourage their development but also give your older child their own space.
Don’t:
- Force affection: Don’t pressure your older child to hug or kiss the baby if they’re not comfortable. This can create resentment.
- Play favorites: Avoid making your older child feel like they have to compete for your love. Give them both equal attention and avoid phrases like “the baby needs me more.”
- Overreact to small squabbles: Minor disagreements are normal. Separate them calmly if necessary, but let them learn to resolve minor conflicts on their own when possible.
- Ignore negative behavior: Address jealousy and negative behavior head-on. Explain why certain actions are wrong and offer positive alternatives for expressing their feelings.
- Become a referee: Instead of constantly intervening in sibling squabbles, teach them problem-solving skills. Help them communicate their needs and find solutions together.
Activities for Everyone:
While one-on-one time is crucial, there are also plenty of activities you can do that involve both children. Here are a few ideas:
- Sing songs and nursery rhymes together.
- Read books with colorful pictures.
- Build a blanket fort and have a cozy cuddle session.
- Play with infant toys that are safe for both children. (Supervision is always recommended, especially with a crawling infant.)
- Take a walk together in the stroller. Let your older child help push or hold a favorite toy.
Remember: Adjusting to a new sibling takes time. Be patient with your children and celebrate their small victories. By following these tips and providing a loving and supportive environment, you can help your children build a strong and lasting bond.
So, how are you feeling about navigating this new chapter of motherhood? Share your experiences and questions in the comments below!
